Right so I have a Tinder lunch date with a guy who keeps sending me voice messages in different accents.
So he is either really good at accents, or I am about to meet his entire office for a “group hang”.

Also, it’s a lunch date. There will be food right? I’m allowed to eat on a date? Coz I’m hungry and craving pizza.

Also he keeps asking me questions about my businesses so this may just be a work meeting with his office…… maybe I should wear a suit!!

Side note, my clothes weren’t wet when I put them on, but got wet in the rain. Obviously a theme for the weekend!!

Update. He’s cute but also 7 years younger than me and shorter (which seemed to bother him). This difference in our drinks highlights our height difference (and our size difference!!). Big girl problems

And of course, I wore the worst outfit ever… with heels!!!
I literally look like hulk in that nothing fits and I am clearly not supposed to wear ankle swinger jeans.
Bursting out my clothes

The hair game was strong…. but made me much taller than he was!!!

Yup, he wants to see me again. He either likes Hulk…… or needs someone to block the sun for him

So I’m back on Tinder and had arranged to meet this guy tonight at 9pm and hadn’t really set a place to meet and I hadn’t heard from him since so just assumed it was off…… until he called me at 9.10 asking where I was! !!
I made up an excuse and picked a new location.
I have never got out of my pajamas so fast on my life. Took me 12 minutes to get ready and get in an uber.

My leggings are damp, my socks are wrong for the shoe, my hair is wet and I’m pretty sure there is dog sick on my coat. but I’m here and guess what dear reader?
The bastard isn’t even here yet!!!

UPDATE

So he is Italian (who knew?). I probably would have known if I had done my pre date prep work and actually read his profile!!!
Was awkward when I didn’t know his name though!!
Haha fuck

So that probably could have gone better tbh.

At one point he asked what my hobbies/passions are so I listed them and he said “so do you like to do anything that you can’t earn money from?”….. is it my fault that I have hacked my life to just get paid doing things I love? Didn’t think so.
However, my boss is a bitch ?

Then the conversation got a little slow so I ended up telling him scene by scene the 7 hour play I had seen earlier this week!
I thought I was doing a pretty good job retelling the masterpiece until one of the actors from the show (sitting on the table behind me) ended up tapping me on the back and saying “you forgot this scene”!!!
It was literally the only scene that actor had lines in!!

Then he kept giving me compliments so (being British) I got entirely too embarrassed about the situation and I then spent a good 20 minutes talking about my dinner…. my dinner was basically spaghetti with chickpeas and a jar of sauce.

He stopped giving me compliments after he saw this picture!!! Wonder why???
#epicshitdinner

And so I had already lied saying I lived further away from the venue than I actually did so when he offered to walk me home, I was like “nah mate, I live a good 20 minutes in the wrong direction”, so he then insisted on waiting for me to get in a taxi. In any other situation I would have been like “awwww what a gentleman”, but this time I was pissed because I now had to lie to a poor helpless london cabbie about where I was going. So after waving the Italian off, I got distracted by Facebook (thanks guys), and didn’t correct the address. Only to be dropped off
In some random neighborhood in London where I am pretty sure hepatitis was invented.

Awwww I just got a message from him. Assumed it was to tell me what a lovely time he had with me, and how much money I saved him with my detailed play retelling. But no. It was to correct a spelling error on my website