poo gate

So it’s press day today for the charity I volunteer for and we were on strict instructions to look smart and presentable.

I haven’t been sleeping well so took a sleep aid last night and woke up groggy to the foster puppy having poopageddon all over the floor.
You try and tread carefully around it only to slip over a puddle of pee and land in shit up To my eyeballs (literally my eyeball nearly had poop in it).
You desperately need the toilet (like the old woman that You are) so you try and lift your poop and pee covered body to open the dog gate to get out of the room. But the dog gate won’t open as your hands are covered in diarrhea and puppy pee, so you decide to try and climb over the gate.
As you try and get the second leg over the gate, the puppy decides to start licking your toes and you fall into another heap on the floor with one shit covered foot resting nonchalantly on top of the gate.
This is about where you weigh up as to if it is
Better to just pee yourself, get up and squat on a pee pad or continue the noble fight to the bathroom.
Guess what I did?